Self Care for Busy Mums
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Being a mum is a hard job. At the end of the day we find ourselves exhausted, worn out and drained beyond belief.
We often put ourselves last and have little time for ourselves.
It’s so easy to lose yourself in the day to day routine of family life.
I know I’m guilty of often staying up later than I probably should just to get a few things done or have a small amount of time for myself. Even for just getting a chance to breathe and getting my head around things.
I think if we didn’t take some time our for ourselves we’d go crazy.
With a huge to-do list and constantly being needed, it slowly eats away at us.
And often that to-do list has self care all the way at the bottom of it – that’s if it even makes the list at all.
So how are we supposed to look after the rest of the family when we have nothing left to give?
Your patience lowers, little things that you would barely notice suddenly become a huge deal, tempers flare – and I’m not just talking about the kids.
Your kids can sense your stress and feeling of overwhelm and it may affect them more than you realise.
Have you ever found yourself being the mum you never wanted to be? Yelling at your kids and feeling like you’re losing your mind.
I know I have.
And then I just feel even guiltier.
It’s like a never ending cycle.
The more I try to do to be that “perfect mum” the more it just doesn’t work.
Everyone needs a break every now and then. So why should mums be any different?
So what can you do when you are busy and don’t have much time for you?
Self Care Tips for Busy Mums
Learn to say “no”
You can’t be everything to everyone. Sometimes you need to make yourself a priority. Just because someone asks, you don’t have to do it. You are allowed to say, ‘no’.
Make a list
Write down a list of things you enjoyed doing before kids or things you would like to try. Put it on the fridge or somewhere you will see it every day. See if you can give some a go when you get a chance.
Schedule self care in
Write it in your diary, on your calendar or wherever you schedule your activities. It becomes all too easy to ignore it when everything else piles up, so it gets pushed aside. Make it a priority!
Find a hobby you like
Do some colouring, learn how to crochet or knit, try diamond painting or give scrapbooking a go. You could even enter competitions and have a go at winning something. There’s heaps of things that you can do when you don’t have much time. Have what you need in a box and pull it out when you have a few minutes. You might be surprised at how much you can accomplish.
Pursue your hobbies
If it’s something you love, find the time. Even if it’s only half an hour a week, or an hour once a month. But schedule it in and stick to it.
Work around bedtime
Get up earlier or stay up late every now and then for some quiet time to do something for you
Exercise
You might be looking to exercise more or change your regular routine. Try Tai Chi, give yoga or Pilates a go or hire a personal trainer. Have fun with it – put on some music and have a dance party in your lounge room with your kids or go roller skating. You could even try exercising to a YouTube video if you can’t get out often.
Think about yourself
Think about what you want from life, what you enjoy, and the steps you need to take to achieve it. Taking time to think about yourself will boost your self trust and confidence in your abilities.
Declutter
While decluttering is not directly part of self care, junk can zap a lot of our energy and fog our mind. Getting rid of some clutter can help reduce stress and you may be able to cross off a few things on your to-do list.
Call a friend
Maybe call someone you haven’t spoken to in awhile, and are looking to reconnect. Or maybe it’s just keeping in touch with friends or family. Either way, it’s good to keep connections with others to reduce isolation and feel in touch with the world.
Write in a journal or diary
There are heaps of benefits to getting your thoughts and feelings down on paper. It can help you can touch and understand your emotions, helps to put things in perspective, and it gives you time to think and dream and think about what you want from life.
Unwind with a book
Reading is amazing! There’s nothing like immersing yourself in another world for awhile and having that escape from reality. And the best part is you can do it just about everywhere.
Relax
Just lie down, close your eyes and breathe. Concentrate on your breathing. Try to clear your brain and let your mind wander.
Do nothing
If you prefer, just sit or lie down and do absolutely nothing.
Take a few minutes to do something just for you every day even if it’s only small. Do little things every day to take care of yourself.
The only way your kids can learn about self care is from you. They see how you treat yourself and learn how to love themselves from the way they see you and other adults behave towards themselves.
We learn from how we see our parents act towards themselves. We remember what they say, but our inner voice and values comes more from their actions. It’s what we remember more and how we think as we go about life. As they say, ‘Actions speak louder than words’.
It’s important to prioritise self care, but it’s especially important when you are under a lot of stress, you feel overwhelmed, ill or run down or whenever your inner voice is putting you down.
Learn to be patient with yourself, don’t neglect or dismiss your dreams, and treat yourself the same way you treat everyone else. You are not less important.
If you’re so busy taking care of everyone else, and neglecting yourself, you can’t care for others as well.
Without self care, we are running on empty. We can’t keep giving if we have nothing left to give.
Remember, you are important too.
Sometimes even just five minutes a day can make a huge difference.
What do you do for self care? How do you make time?
October 8, 2018 @ 11:00 am
As a mom to six children, I know self care can make make all the difference in the world! While my kids are now adults themselves, my go to self care activities were reading and exercise. Good tips here!
November 22, 2018 @ 10:59 am
Yes, it can make a huge difference. Reading has always been one of my favourite things to do.
October 8, 2018 @ 12:09 pm
Good advic!
November 22, 2018 @ 10:40 am
Thank you
October 8, 2018 @ 3:12 pm
great advice and i hope to actually do some of what you recommended. i need to spend time doing NOTHING and learn to say NO more often! =)
November 22, 2018 @ 11:00 am
Good luck!
October 10, 2018 @ 10:16 am
Though my kids are older, I still have to make time for self care. Often if I get down at least half of my to do list for the day, I will reward myself with a 20 minute cat nap. I also get up at 4 to get in a morning run and I go to bed later to get more done when it’s quiet and I can hear myself think. Thanks for sharing wisdom on an important topic.
November 22, 2018 @ 11:03 am
Sounds like a great plan that works for you.
October 10, 2018 @ 11:05 am
Love this post! I am learing to say “no”, it’s hard! I keep telling myself it’s okay to say “no” even if it is family. I also loved your idea of scheduling time for self care. I know I need to and I do get time when there is an hour here or there but I am last priority. What great ideas and must do’s.
November 22, 2018 @ 11:05 am
Good luck. Yes, it’s not easy, but it’s worth it.
October 11, 2018 @ 11:29 am
Refreshing read! Enjoyed it.
November 22, 2018 @ 11:05 am
Thank you.
October 11, 2018 @ 11:47 am
This is a lot good suggestions for busy moms. You have to take care of yourself.
November 22, 2018 @ 11:05 am
Absolutely!
October 11, 2018 @ 12:27 pm
As a mom, sometimes it’s so hard to care of yourself. Thanks for these useful tips. Very helpful.
November 22, 2018 @ 11:07 am
You’re welcome. I’m glad you found it useful.
October 11, 2018 @ 12:32 pm
I need this list. I would say all mums need this. while trying to do the utmost for our families we forget ourselves. Thank you for the reminder- to say ‘no’, to put myself first, to exercise or to do nothing.
November 22, 2018 @ 11:09 am
Yes, we need to remember to look after ourselves too. And to realise that it’s okay.
October 11, 2018 @ 7:03 pm
You make awesome points my favorite of which is to declutter. That drives me insane! And No is a complete sentence. I share similar in my e-book. Thanks for the post!
November 22, 2018 @ 11:12 am
You’re welcome.
October 14, 2018 @ 8:46 am
I am so crap at self care. I’ve been bordering on burnout for the last couple of years trying to be everything and finish a degree. Great read, I’m definitely taking these tips on board. Junk definitely adds to my stress levels and I really need to set aside some time to actually do nothing ?
November 22, 2018 @ 11:14 am
It can take time to get used to, especially when you’re busy and everything else seems so important. Good luck!
October 14, 2018 @ 1:39 pm
Fantastic advice. We really do need to look after ourselves instead of everyone else all the time.. I can’t remember the last time I read a book for fun, I don’t have the concentration span at the moment. I’m more of a sit down & do nothing because my brain is so fried
November 22, 2018 @ 11:28 am
I definitely understand that feeling. When I finally get the kids to bed, I’m often too tired to concentrate and don’t feel like doing anything.
October 27, 2018 @ 4:27 pm
Great advice!! Being a mom is hard work. As soon as our babies are born, we just dedicate ourselves to them, and our husband/partner that we forget about ourselves. This is a good reminder that in order for our family to be well, we need to be well first.
November 22, 2018 @ 11:39 am
Yes, it’s easy to lose ourselves and forget what we need.
October 27, 2018 @ 5:01 pm
What an important reminder for moms! We need to take care of ourselves so we can be supportive and patient for our little people. I love the list you have created. Sometimes just listening to a favorite song is enough to ground myself and be ready to face the day.
November 22, 2018 @ 12:55 pm
It’s definitely easier to be more patient when we feel better about ourselves. Listening to a favourite song is a great one. It can be very uplifting.
December 9, 2018 @ 10:24 am
Decluttering can significantly reduce stress. Before children, I loved the classic Southern Living look. With a house full of toddlers (okay, 2 toddlers and a 10 year old human tornado), and a dusty environment, I gave up one day and boxed up what was left of my knick-knacks (many were broken) and they are STILL in my attic (my kids are in their twenties now). I find the clean simplicity calming and gives me more time for fun! Also, since the kiddos tended to drag their toys into the living room/kitchen area, I bought a cute wicker chest and baskets for the living room to house those toys, crayons, etc., instead of returning them to the bedrooms. Evening pickup was FINALLY quick and stressless.
December 9, 2018 @ 8:34 pm
This is exactly where I’m at right now. I feel like I give everything I have to my family and my jo, and at the end of the day, there’s nothing left for me. For so long, I’ve been telling myself I need to start caring for myself. You’ve got some great suggestions!
December 9, 2018 @ 2:31 pm
There’s so much one can take away from this. I always forget you need to be reminded of all the things for self -care.
February 6, 2019 @ 12:25 pm
Love this. Read it twice now!
February 6, 2019 @ 12:25 pm
Read it twice now!
February 20, 2019 @ 1:20 pm
This is so important, even for those of us who aren’t moms, but especially you superwomen! Love the ideas you shared and it’s so important for to take care of yourself!!
April 7, 2019 @ 8:37 am
Great post. I have four children and work full time. I have realized the running errands by myself is not a way for me to de-stress, but taking a hot shower and drinking tea after the kids go to bed does. Everyone has different needs and has to figure out what they are. We live on Lana’i btw 🙂 Much Aloha.
April 28, 2019 @ 12:58 pm
Thank you for these amazing tips on self care! I love the you can say no, and dont have to say yes to everything. Thanks for sharing.